Why Do So Many Married Men Cheat on Their Wives?

Why Do So Many Married Men Cheat on Their Wives? yahoo.com

I was recently propositioned by a married man I know to be someone he cheated on his wife with. I, of course, said no, as I have a boyfriend and am not willing to ruin two relationships with my actions. Why does it seem like so many married men cheat on their wives even though they seem happy? Is it a vibe I am giving off to them, because this isn't the first time something like this has been suggested to me.

It's not you, it's him. And him and him and him and him…

These guys aren't acting like dogs because you're giving off a vibe. They're cheating for all sorts of reasons: general horniness, insecurity, boredom, power hunger, compulsivity, self-destructiveness, hormones, and pleasure. Not all guys cheat. And not every cheater cheats for the same reason. Sure, guys might be attracted to you. But the reason they cheat is never you or your vibe.

You ask why so many seemingly happy guys cheat - but guys don't cheat just because they're unhappy. We all hear the old line about how guys cheat because they're not getting any at home, but that's not usually true. When a guy cheats, it's not the relationship's fault or his wife's fault. It's his fault.

Also, let's not forget that women cheat all the time too. It takes two. I, and most of the guys I know, have been propositioned plenty by married women (though perhaps not as aggressively or bluntly as my female friends have been by married men). So good for you: Keep holding the line. Almost always, an affair is just not worth the trouble.

I dated a guy for a total of three years. We were engaged after one year and had a two-year engagement. We were supposed to get married in October 2015. Anyway, he went away with the military, and when he came home (40 days before the wedding, mind you) he called everything off. I later found out that he had met someone else while he was away and wanted to be with her. After stepping back from the relationship, I soon realized we were definitely in an unhealthy relationship and I'm actually doing all right. My ex-fiancé already made his new relationship known with everyone (Facebook official, if you will). It's been over a month now since the split. I too have been seeing someone. He's a very close guy friend of mine that I had friend-zoned for over five years. We aren't officially "dating" yet, but I do believe we're close to that point. We never realized the deep connection we truly had with each other. Now, here is the dilemma. I'm hearing about how awful my ex-fiancé is for getting into a new relationship right away. When will it be OK for me to announce a relationship if it were to happen? Will it ever be accepted, or would it be frowned upon? I'm actually happy for my ex. We both deserve great people. I just wish our friends and family felt the same without constantly judging us.

I understand your worry. Nobody wants to be the subject of snark and gossip, but sometimes, that's just life. Haters gonna hate. You can't and shouldn't run your love life like a political campaign, worrying about how and when to time your announcements in order to maintain your approval ratings. Do what makes you happy and tell whomever you want, whenever you want.

You ask, "Will it ever be accepted?" Absolutely. Even if your friends are judgmental gossips at first (and, hey, we all are sometimes), they'll get over it. If they're good friends and see that you're happier, they'll cheer you on.

One last note: Your friends are telling you that your ex-fiancé is awful, but I doubt they're trash-talking him because of some deep-seated moral objection. I doubt they really think he's a jerk because he moved on so quickly. They probably think he's a jerk because he hurt their friend: you. One reason for their trash-talk is probably that they want to make you feel better. I doubt they'd want to make you feel bad about moving on yourself.

Regardless, focus on what makes you happy - and not on what may or may not irk someone else. It's easy to get caught up in what other people think, but it's hard to find love. Chase your happiness.

I've been with my current boyfriend for four years, but for as long as I can remember, I have never been able to orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone with him. This past summer, we were fighting a lot and actually broke up for two weeks. I had a few drunk hookups (and a few sober) with a fellow coworker and every time, I came. Every single time, I reached my climax and it was an amazing feeling I can't let go of. Now I've cut off this coworker to give it another go with my boyfriend because I do really care about him and want to be with him, but I just can't seem to stop thinking about the orgasms with the other guy and how, no matter what, it just doesn't happen with my boyfriend. Is there something wrong with me? Why can't I reach a vaginal orgasm with my boyfriend? Why was it so simple with basically a stranger?